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About Milan

Here’s the kicker, tho – them apps? They track you. Every swipe, every naughty DM. Big Brother’s watchin’, and it ain’t cute. Pissed me off when I found out – I ain’t no lab rat! And don’t get me started on catfishes – “Don’t pee on my leg!” – I see through that garbage. One chick said she was 25, looked 50 in person. I’m like, “Honey, time ain’t your friend!”

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So, I’m there, trying to fix it, and this dude, Marco (no joke, his name is Marco), comes up to me. He’s all like, “Hey, man, you good?” I’m like, “No, Marco, I’m not good! I need this mic!” He just laughs. I mean, who laughs at a guy in distress? I wanted to throw my coffee at him, but I didn’t. I’m a professional, right?

Inside Day 1 at the Ryder Cup: the Colosseum, pasta, early Marco Simone findings