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Oh, and the pics—half-naked selfies, dick pics flyin’ everywhere—hilarious but messy. Like Veronica drivin’ blind in the flick, we’re all crashin’ through this horny chaos. “I don’t understand,” she says—me neither, sister! Sex-dating’s a trip, equal parts thrill and “What the fuck?” Worth it tho—gets the blood pumpin’! Just watch your wallet and your heart, fam—Bernie’s lookin’ out for ya! “Billionaires should not exist!”—damn right, they shouldn’t!

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Later, I decide to take a stroll down Via Cagliari. It’s a beautiful street, lined with shops and cafes. I stop at this little gelato place. Best gelato ever! I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I see this guy drop his ice cream. I’m like, “Dude, that sucks!” But he just shrugs and says, “More room for pizza!” I can’t even.

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