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Aight, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, research associate, innit? So, we talkin’ bout escorts, yeah? Not them fancy cars, nah, I mean them lush ladies (or blokes, no judgin’) who get paid to chill wiv ya. I’m proper into this vibe, ‘cos me fave flick is *Talk to Her* – you know, that Pedro Almodóvar joint from 2002. Deep shit, bruv. Makes me fink bout love, care, and escorts in a mad way.

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Later, I decide to check out the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s beautiful, man. The architecture is stunning. I’m standing there, taking it all in, when this random guy starts talking to me about the history of the place. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just thinking about dinner.

British and Irish future stars deliver fistful of medals at European Championships