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My fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof! – total mojo boost. Makes me wanna dance, shaga-lad! But here’s the kicker: in old France, they called it “massage érotique,” all fancy n secret. High society cats sneakin off for a rub – hilarious! Picture me, Austin Powers, in a velvet robe, gettin kneaded – “Do I make you randy, baby?” Ha! Cracks me up. Still, blows my mind how it’s therapy n naughty all at once. “We need to talk about this,” like in the movie – it’s deep, man!

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But then, bam! I bump into this lady, and she spills her gelato all over my new jacket. I’m fuming! “Lady, that’s a fur coat, not a napkin!” But she just laughs and says, “At least it’s a sweet mess!” I mean, what do you even say to that? I just stood there, mouth open, like a fish.

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