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About Naples

So I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this dude—profile says “6’5, loves trout”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, fish guy! Turns out, he’s 5’2 and allergic to seafood. Catfished me good—made me angry as hell! Billionaires runnin’ these apps don’t care—makin’ bank off our lonely hearts. Swipe, swipe, swipe—half these profiles fake as a three-dollar bill. Little fact for ya—back in ’90s, folks used “personals” in newspapers for this crap. No pics, just vibes—way less BS!

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Next, I decide to hit up the local market on Via San Francesco. Fresh produce, right? I’m browsing, trying to calm down. I see this old lady selling tomatoes. She’s got the best ones, but she’s also got the loudest voice. “Hey, you! Buy my tomatoes!” I can’t help but chuckle. I buy a bunch, thinking, “At least I’ll have good sauce tonight.”

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