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But here’s the kicker—some folks shame it! Say it’s “dirty” or “wrong”—bullshit! That’s the billionaire class talkin’, keepin’ us stiff and miserable! Sexual-massage ain’t just happy-endin’ nonsense—though, ha, sometimes it is! It’s healin’, connectin’—stuff they don’t want us to have! Did ya know in Japan, geishas used to do this secret-style massage? Super hush-hush, erotic as hell—blows your mind! Ain’t in no fancy textbook—found that gem diggin’ through weird forums at 2 a.m.!

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Then I decide to stroll down to Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s a nice spot, but man, the pigeons are relentless. I swear, they’re plotting something. I’m dodging them like I’m in some weird video game. “Level 1: Pigeon Attack.” I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why are these birds so aggressive?”

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