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But here’s a mad fact – didja know sex-dating apps track yer kinks? Yeah, some dodgy coder’s sittin’ there, knowin’ you’re into feet or whatever – creepy as fuck! Reminds me of “Her” – “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” that AI purrs. Same vibe, right? These apps own yer libido, mate. I reckon half the users are bots anyway – had one chat me up, “hey sexy, u like 2 party?” I’m like, “Piss off, you’re not even human!” Laughed my arse off, but it’s tragic too.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts screamin’. I look over, and she’s flailing her arms like a crazy bird. Turns out, her floaty got away. I mean, c’mon! It’s not like it’s a pet! So, I dive in, swim over to save the day. I grab the floaty, and she’s all grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Lady, it’s a floaty, not a life or death situation!”

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