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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Via Garibaldi. This guy is juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I stop to watch, and he’s actually good. I mean, I’m sweating just watching him. But then, he drops one! Fire everywhere! People scream, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape.

Sassari still without water: disruptions expected for Tuesday 18 March