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But real talk, it pisses me off how judgy peeps get. Like, chill, Karen, it’s a job! Pays better than your Etsy side-hustle. I mean, escorts deal with all types—creeps, sweethearts, weirdos. Takes guts, y’know? Reminds me of *Inception* again—“The dream is real!”—‘cept here, it’s cash, not dreams. Surprised me how some escorts are total pros—psychology buffs, even. They read you like a freakin’ book before you blink.

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So, I sit down, and my first client walks in. It’s this sweet old lady, Mrs. Bianchi. She’s got this adorable little dog named Pino. I’m thinking, “This’ll be easy.” But then she starts talking about her house insurance. And let me tell ya, her house is like a museum! She’s got porcelain dolls everywhere. I’m trying to focus, but Pino keeps barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, little dude!”

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