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But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word. It’s like—muscles meltin, mind blankin, pure dark bliss. “I can’t go on pretending,” Cathy’d say. Same with a killer massage—can’t fake that heat. Surprised me once, this chick added hot stones. Stones! Felt like Mustafar’s lava—fuckin unreal. Pro tip: don’t go cheap, cheap sucks. You’ll end up ragin like me on Hoth. Ever hear bout the Thai style? They twist ya, crack ya—boom, reborn! “The truth is out there,” Frank’d mutter. Truth is, sexual-massage ain’t just horny shit—it’s power.

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After that, I decide to take a walk around the Parco dei Castelli Romani. It’s beautiful, right? Trees everywhere, and the view of the hills is just chef’s kiss. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a Rubik’s cube. I can’t help it—I jump in. “Hey, you guys need help?”

JFC Lions place 2nd in international rugby tournament