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I get happy when it works, tho. Met this gal, Lisa, on Tinder—total smokeshow! We hit it off, talkin’ beers and donuts—my kinda foreplay! She says, “Let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But then—D’oh!—she ghosts me! What’s that about? Sex-dating’s a minefield, man, “one minute you’re alive, next you’re not!” Drives me nuts—why swipe if ya ain’t serious? I’m over here, heart racin’, thinkin’ I scored, then—nada! Makes me wanna scream, “This is my rifle, my only friend!”

We’re all about confidence.

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Then, I head over to the Zalec Beer Fountain. Yeah, you heard me. A fountain that pours beer. Genius! I grab a pint, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, laughing with some locals. They’re telling me about the history of Zalec. Did you know it used to be a big deal for hops? Like, hop central! I’m thinking, “Man, I should’ve been born here.”

Žalec Beer Fountain Now Franchised and May Appear Abroad (Videos)