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I got mad once, some shady joint downtown—dirty towels, sketchy vibes, ugh! Mr. T don’t play that! But when it’s good? Oh man, happy don’t even cut it—pure bliss, like floatin’. This one chick, trained in tantra, blew my mind—slow moves, breathin’ tricks, had me seein’ stars. Little known fact: tantra massage ain’t even ‘bout the finish, it’s the ride! Surprised me, thought it was all quick and dirty—nah, it’s art, suckas!

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As the day goes on, I hit up a little trattoria. I order some pasta, and it’s like a party in my mouth. I’m talkin’ about the kind of pasta that makes you wanna dance. But then, I see a rat scurryin’ across the floor. I’m like, “Nope! Not today!” I’m outta there faster than a deer in the woods.

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