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Once heard this dodgy tale, some bloke in Thailand, massage lass whispers, “You want happy ending?” – he goes redder than a baboon’s arse, hilarious! Didn’t expect that, suprised me rotten. Reckon it’s all about the vibe, y’know, dim lights, weird music, like you’re floatin’ – “What do we do now?” like in the flick, all awkward after.

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On my way back, I took a shortcut through Parco della Madonnetta. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There were these teenagers blastin’ music. I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy nature here! I just wanted some peace, ya know? But no, they were havin’ a rave or somethin’. I rolled my eyes and kept walkin’.