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About Bologna

So, last week, my buddy Bubba—he’s a hoot—tells me ‘bout this chick he saw, givin’ a sexual-massage so good he swore she was a faun, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, whisperin’, “This is our secret now.” I’m like, “Bubba, you dog!” Laughed ‘til I near peed myself. Ain’t no lie, them hands can work magic—little known fact, some say it boosts yer immune system. Science or hogwash? Hell if I know, but I’m sold!

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Finally, I finish the report. I’m feeling all proud, like I just climbed Mount Everest. I send it off, and then I decide to treat myself. I head to the gelateria on Via Dante. I mean, who can resist gelato? I get a scoop of pistachio and one of stracciatella. Heaven in a cup, I tell ya!

5 ‘Foreign Fighters’ Arrested in Italian-Albanian Counterterrorist Blitz