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About Florence

Favorite part? The surprises. Met this gal online—swore she was a chef. Showed up, cooked me eggs—burnt ‘em to hell. Laughed my ass off, tho—best date ever. Sex-dating’s got that chaos, keeps you guessin’. But the creeps? Man, they grind my gears. Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, chill. Ladies too, tho—catfishin’ with filters, got me like, “Where’s the real you at?” Still, when it works, it’s fire—pure adrenaline, no cap.

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So, I roll into work at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already on the phone. First call? Some dude from Via Roma, all panicked. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” Like, bro, it’s a cat, not a NASA mission. But hey, I get it. Cats are like furry little ninjas. I told him to chill, call the fire department, and maybe bribe the cat with treats.

Phil Masinga: The Hardened Executioner of Inter