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About Turin

I tried it once, right? Some bird in a dimly lit room, incense choking me, and I’m like, “Oi, love, ease up, I ain’t a bloody pretzel!” Felt good though, gotta admit—muscles all loose, head spinning. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries—called it “nuad boran” or summat, proper ancient filth! Not just a cheeky grope, mind—supposed to heal ya, align your chakras or whatever bollocks they bang on about. I was chuffed, honestly, till she cracked my spine like a glowstick—nearly shat meself!

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Next, I decide to take a walk. I head towards the Parco della Valle, which is super pretty. I’m trying to chill, but then I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re yelling and running, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had that energy.” But then, one of them kicks the ball, and it comes straight for me. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not getting hit by a soccer ball today, thank you very much!

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