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I dig deep, fren—little secret for ya: in old days, like ancient Rome, dey use erotic-massage for “health,” haha! Rich guys, togas off, gettin rubbed—dey call it “therapy,” I call it party! Very nice! Makes me laugh, dese old pervs, actin all fancy. Den I find out, some places now, dey charge $200 for one hour! Wot?! Dat’s my goat’s dowry! I get mad—why so much? But den, happy again—dey say it fix stress, back pain, even soul! Like Amélie fixin dat blind guy’s day, “Zoop! Everything so clear now!”
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After the event, I’m starving. I hit up this little pizzeria on Via C. Battisti. Best pizza ever! I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard not to. They’re going on about who left the lights on. I’m thinking, “Really? That’s what you’re fighting about?”
Fig. 1 Map of Lake Maggiore with sampling points. F, fiume=river; T,...
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