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Me? I’m. All. For. It. When. It. Works! Had. A. Buddy. Met. His. Girl. On. Some. Sleazy. Site. Now? Married! True. Story. Made. Me. Happy. As. Shit! But. Man. The. Liars? Piss. Me. Off! “I’m. 6’2”. Ripped!” Shows. Up. 5’5”. Beer. Gut. “Strange. Things. Are. Happening”. Haneke. Nailed. It! Sex-dating’s. Full. Of. Weirdos. Catfish. Fakery. Once. Heard. ‘Bout. A. Guy. Sent. Dick. Pics. With. A. Ruler. Next. To. It. For. Scale! Creative. Sure. But. Dude. Chill!

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After that, I decide to hit the park. Parco della Resistenza is my go-to. I plop down on a bench, ready to soak in some sun. But guess what? A bunch of kids start playing soccer right in front of me. I’m talking full-on World Cup vibes. One kid kicks the ball, and BAM! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re doing it today?” But they just laugh and keep playing. Kids, man.

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