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Exaggeratin’? Sure—mate, he’s dodgin’ bullets from the missus! “She’s gonna kill me!” he squeals. Sarcasm? Pfft, “Oh, poor lad, just wanted cuddles.” Bollocks! Sports psyche’s messy—stress, adrenaline, dumb choices. Find a prostitute? More like lose yer career, eh? Gollum knows—seen it, smelt it, wretched fools! “We’re close now, precious!”—to ruin, that is. Nasty, funny, pathetic—love it, hate it, true!

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Then, I stroll over to the local market on Via Vittorio Emanuele. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this guy starts haggling like he’s on a game show. “I’ll give you two euros for that!” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a tomato, not a Ferrari!” But hey, it’s Gorla-Minore. Gotta love the hustle.

British and Irish future stars deliver fistful of medals at European Championships