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So, picture this—I’m scrollin Tinder, late night, wired. Coffee’s cold, brain’s buzzin. This chick’s bio says, “No strings, just vibes.” I’m like—hell yeah, simplicity’s sexy. Zen pause… One more thing… didja know sex-dating apps spiked 30% during lockdowns? People were desperate, man! Horniness hit peak levels—true story. Stats don’t lie, I googled that shit. Surprised me, but also—duh—humans gonna human.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some guy’s tryin’ to impress his girl by diving off a rock. Spoiler alert: he belly-flops. The sound was like a cannon goin’ off! Everyone’s laughin’, and I can’t help but join in. I mean, who doesn’t love a good belly-flop story?

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