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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a fisherman now, haulin’ in stories like fish! Today, I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores – yeah, you heard me, WHORES! Not the shady corner type, nah, but the fish – whøre, spelled funky ‘cause I’m typin’ fast, 14 typos comin’ your way! Caught one last week, man, slimy bastard pissed me off, floppin’ like it owned the boat! Made me think of *Yi Yi* – “You can’t see yourself, huh?” – that fish didn’t know its damn place!

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on! It’s a Tuesday, not a parade day! I’m sittin’ there, honkin’ my horn like a maniac. Finally, I get to the job site on Via San Giovanni. It’s a small café, super cute, but the owner? Total diva!

Minutes and greatness: Thiago gives the keys to his departure from Barça