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About Bari

So, I’m chattin’ with my squirrel posse, and I’m like, “Escorts, they’re pros at lookin’ gorg!” *The Nanny laugh – HAHAHA!* Ya ever notice how they strut, all classy-like? Makes me wanna toss my acorns and join ‘em! I mean, they’re out there, makin’ bank, dressin’ like they’re in some Roma fantasy – “The eternal city’s got nothin’ on their sparkle!” Little factoid for ya – back in the day, escorts in Venice? They’d wear these wild platform shoes, like 2 feet high, to dodge the muck. Imagine that, totterin’ around, lookin’ fab – I’d trip and eat dirt, hon!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I head to my first meeting at this cute little café on Piazza Tommaso Frasconi. I order a cappuccino, thinking it’ll calm me down. But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of milk.” Out of milk?! In Italy?! I mean, c’mon! I’m about to lose it. But then, she gives me a free pastry. A little cornetto. Sweet, flaky goodness. I’m like, “Okay, you win this round.”

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