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I dig the chaos, tho—happy vibes when it works. Once matched this artsy gal, talked Wes Anderson flicks all night. “We’re in love, we’ve got to get outta here,” I quoted, half-jokin’. She laughed, we hooked up—score! Felt like Sam and Suzy, sneakin’ off, dodgin’ the world. But then—ruh-roh!—she unmatched me next day. Ouch, man, stung like a bee!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a chill spot, right? But today, it was packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone was out, enjoying the sun, and I’m just trying to navigate through the crowd. I bump into this old dude, and he starts ranting about the best gelato in town. I’m like, “Bro, I’m just tryna get to the fountain!” But hey, I love gelato, so I’m all ears.

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