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Sex escort’s a jungle, man. Dangerous, funny, sad—all dat. “You’re gonna miss dis,” like in “Boyhood”—dey prolly do, da rush of it. Me? I’d rather watch movies, snuggle me girls, Agnes, Edith, Marge. But if ya in dat life, ya gotta own it, ya? No shame, just survival. Lightbulb! Dat’s da truth, straight from Gru’s big Russian heart! Now, where’s me popcorn?

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Then, I hit up Piazza del Municipio. It’s usually chill, but today? It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie. I’m just tryna enjoy my espresso, but nooo, I gotta dodge these peeps like I’m in a video game. I swear, I almost spilled my drink.

Constance A. Gangi Obituary November 30, 2009