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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Francavilla-Fontana, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to fry an egg on the pavement. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even summer yet! I grabbed my coffee from that little bar on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti? Yeah, that place.

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