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About Catania

So, picture this – some lass, right, floggin’ her wares in a dodgy alley. Not your posh Westminster type, nah, proper gritty, salt-o’-the-earth. I reckon she’s like Yinniang from the film – mysterious, yeah? “The heart remains unseen,” as they say in *The Assassin*. She’s got secrets, this one, layers deeper than a trifle at a Tory bash. Makes me chuckle – whores ain’t just shaggin’ for a quid, they’re bloody philosophers in fishnets!

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I’m sweating bullets. I can feel my heart racing. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who needs this stress? I take a deep breath, and just when I’m about to throw my laptop out the window, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a drink later?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m drowning here!” But then I think, “Maybe a drink would help.”

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