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About Turin

So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some shady joint in Queens, smelled like patchouli and regret. This masseuse, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m dough for a freakin’ bagel, and I’m thinkin’, “This is intimate, too intimate!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where—and I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Who gave you the green light, lady?!” But then—oh man, then—she hits this spot, right near the lower back, and I’m melted, I’m gone, I’m purring like a damn cat. Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it! Still, I’m paranoid—did she wash her hands? Is this sanitary? I’m a mess!

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After lunch, I decide to take a stroll by the beach. The sun’s shining, and the waves are crashing. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded together, and one of them drops their phone right into the sand. I’m dying laughing. Like, come on!

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