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About Bari

So, *Mulholland Drive*—that line, “This is the girl!”—fits perfect. Escorts walk in, boom, they’re *the* girl. Lynch’d get it—life’s a weird dream, y’know? I’d prob suck at escortin’ tho. “Hi, I’m Michael, wanna paper sale?” Lame! That’s what she said! Hah! Oh, fun fact—some escorts in Vegas got secret codes. Like, “roses” means cash. Sneaky, huh? Love that spy vibe.

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First stop: breakfast. I hit up this little café on Via dei Neri. The croissants? OMG, they were like little clouds of buttery heaven. I swear, I could’ve eaten a dozen. But I didn’t. I had to save room for gelato later, duh. So, I grabbed my cappuccino, and I’m sitting there, soaking in the vibe. The locals are chatting, and I’m just trying to figure out if I can blend in. Spoiler: I can’t. My Italian is like a toddler trying to speak.

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