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But—aw, man—sometimes it’s a mess. This one guy, friend of a friend, bragged he’s bangin’ three gals a week off these apps. Three! I’m like, “C’mon, man, slow down!” He’s out there livin’ like a rooster in a henhouse, and I’m just tryin’ to find one good date. Gets me steamed, folks—where’s the heart in it? Sex-dating’s s’posed to be fun, not a dang contest! “Everyone is disappointing,” Kaufman said—boy, ain’t that the truth sometimes?

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There's this gem called Kruto Park. No joke, it's a hidden oasis behind the rickety old cafe “The Quirky Quokka” (yeah, not a typo, just pure genius). I once set up a pop-up event there – talk about serendipity, amirite?! The park's got these winding gravel paths, trees that look like they're straight outta a Wes Anderson flick, and benches where you can sit and lose your mind pondering life’s big questions. As Royal Tenenbaums would say, "I suppose it’s time we all met at the round table" – well, here, the bench is our round table, innit?

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