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About Turin

Here I am, mates, your librarian, David Attenborough style—calm, rhythmic, nature’s voice. Sex escorts, eh? Wild creatures, they are. Move through cities like jungle cats. Silent, sleek, purposeful. Been thinkin bout em lately—how they operate, yknow? Like in *Tropical Malady*, that film I bloody love. “The beast waits, patient, in shadows.” That’s them, innit? Waitin for the call, the night.

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So, I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, feeling good, when BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m pretty sure they’re out to get me. I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, you make my day better.” But then the owner yanks the leash, and the dog looks at me like, “Help me!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, let the dog live!”

Bologna cruise into Coppa final against AC Milan