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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I look up, and it’s like the sky just opened up. I’m soaked, my guitar’s gettin’ wet, and Strummer’s lookin’ at me like, “What’s the plan, dude?” I’m like, “I dunno, man! Let’s find shelter!”

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