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Now, lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some shady parlors out there—pissed me off somethin’ fierce when I heard ‘bout ‘em exploitin’ workers. Git-R-Done, sure, but not like that! I dug ‘round, found out sexual-massage goes way back—ancient China, them emperors gettin’ frisky with oils n’ all. Little known fact: they called it “spring palace arts”—fancy, huh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ some ol’ dude in a robe, gettin’ pampered!

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Around noon, I grab a quick bite. I hit up this little café on Via Nazionale. Best panini ever! Seriously, if you’re in Cosio-Valtellino, you gotta try their prosciutto. It’s like heaven in bread. But while I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best gelato place in town. I mean, c’mon! It’s like arguing over pizza in Naples. Just pick one and enjoy!

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