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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! Escorts, huh? Fancy word for a gritty gig. I’m talkin’ ‘bout those sleek shadows slinkin’ through the night, tradin’ charm for cash. Kinda like Llewyn Davis, y’know? “I don’t see much money here,” he’d moan, strummin’ his woes away. Same deal with escorts—hustlin’, scrapin’ by, hopin’ for a big break. Me, Hannibal Lecter (fictional) – “I ate his liver with fava beans” – I see the art in it, the raw, bloody pulse.

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But then, I see a group of tourists trying to take a selfie in front of the fountain. They’re struggling, and I can’t help but chuckle. One of them drops their phone in the fountain! I’m like, “Dude, that’s a rookie mistake!” They’re panicking, and I’m just standing there, enjoying my gelato, thinking, “This is better than any reality show.”

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