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About Palermo

Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a bloody riot! James Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m swipin’ through these apps, yeah? Lookin’ for a quick shag, no strings. It’s like fishin’ in a barrel – too easy! Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums* – “I’m not in love with you anymore,” Margot says, all cold-like. That’s the vibe sometimes, innit? People just ghost ya after a hookup – savage!

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After the rain, I head over to Via dei Fiori. Beautiful street, flowers everywhere. But guess what? I trip over a garden gnome. Who puts a gnome in the middle of the sidewalk? I’m on the ground, and this old lady walks by, looks at me, and says, “You okay, dear?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.”