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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.
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I’m fuming, but whatever. I decide to hit the market on Piazza XX Settembre. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this vendor sellin’ the juiciest peaches. I’m like, “Gimme those!” But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I go down, peaches flyin’ everywhere. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s laughin’. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just too ridiculous.
Italy: man arrested on suspicion of murdering Nigerian street seller
Etienne Bacrot (Italy), Vladimir Kramnik, Levon Aronian and Alexei Shirov (Russia). A separate report on the Russian league will follow soon.Civitanova Marche Find A Prostitute
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