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So, picture this—dim room, some chick’s rubbing my back, and I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky too—like, you don’t tell your mum about it. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil, called it “strigiling” or some fancy crap. Rich dudes got oiled up, scraped down—sounds kinky, right? Bet they didn’t tip either, cheap bastards.

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After that, I head over to Via Cavour for another job. This one’s a breeze. Just a simple install. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked, my tools are soaked, and I’m just standing there like a drowned rat.

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