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About Catania

Funniest thing? People ghostin’ mid-sext. One sec, “Ooh, I’m wet,” next – poof! Gone! Like Robert Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back – cowardly twats! "He was a man of secrets," film says, but these lot? Secretly scared of their own knobs. Hahaha, makes me cackle every time.

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First stop, the market at Piazza della Repubblica. I’m hopin’ to grab some fresh bread. You know, the good stuff. But man, it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodgin’ folks, tryin’ not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into old Signora Rosa. She’s got her basket full of veggies, and she starts jabberin’ about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I got sheep to tend!” But she just keeps goin’.