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What gets me happy tho – when it works, yeah? Me mate Dave, proper shy lad, found his missus on Hinge. Said, “She’s my refuge,” like in *Moolaadé* – sweet, innit? But then there’s the aggro – blokes lyin’ about height, girls ghostin’ after one drink. Had this bird once tell me, “You’re too fish-obsessed,” and I’m like, “Wot, you don’t like cod-play?” – haha, see wot I did there?

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Anyway, I keep walkin’, tryin’ to shake off the pigeon drama. I hit up the local market on Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talkin’ juicy tomatoes, fragrant basil, and the best mozzarella. I grab some, thinkin’ I’ll whip up a killer caprese later. But then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, who’s like the queen of the market. She’s got this huge basket of figs, and I’m like, “Nonna, those look amazing!”

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