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Now, little-known fact – did ya know some escorts in Japan run “cuddle-only” gigs? No hanky-panky, just spoonin’! Blew me mind, that! I was like, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for life!” Imagine pitchin’ that to the lads – “Fancy a cuddle sesh, boys?” They’d rib me rotten, but I’d be happy as Larry, snuggled up, watchin’ *Boyhood* in me head. “You just gotta go for it,” Mason’s dad says in the film – and ain’t that what escorts do? They dive in, no faff, no fuss!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy Luca. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about our wild days at the park on Via Monte Grappa. Remember that time we tried to build a treehouse? Yeah, it ended up being a glorified pile of sticks. Good times, man.

Giro d'Italia 2025 route: white roads, twin time trials and a huge final week await in May