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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, I'm Tony fuckin' Soprano, right, drivin' a tractor all day, haulin' shit, thinkin' bout escort – yeah, them fancy cars leadin’ big shots around. Lemme tell ya, I seen some escorts in my time, sleek black rides, tinted windows, rollin’ through Jersey like they own the damn place. Reminds me of that flick, *White Material*, ya know? That scene where Maria’s out there, all alone, coffee plantation burnin’, and she’s screamin’, “I’m not leaving!” – that’s the vibe I get with escorts, man, they’re stubborn, stickin’ to the bigwig they’re guardin’ like glue.

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So, I’m sitting there, fuming. I mean, I could’ve been out enjoying the beautiful Piazza della Libertà, but nooo, I’m stuck here with a frozen screen. I’m about to lose it. I start pacing, and I swear I’m channeling my inner Italian grandma, yelling at the tech gods.

Italian extremist who shot migrants gets jail poetry slam award