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About Catania

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, bouncer extraordinaire, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe whiskey and a good steak. Today I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores—yeah, the oldest gig in the book. Makes me think of *Melancholia*, that damn Lars von Trier flick I can’t quit. “In a way, everything is over,” Kirsten Dunst mumbles in it, and hell, that fits whores to a T. Life’s a slow crash, and they’re dancin’ on the wreckage.

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After the meeting, I decide to treat myself. I hit up that gelato place on Via Dante. I get a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. Heaven! I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, and I see this cute dog. It’s just chilling, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that dog.”

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