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About Turin

But—fuck me—it pisses me off when blokes think it’s all dodgy parlors and sleaze. Nah, mate, it’s art! Done right, it’s bloody poetic—“a burden I can’t carry,” like Brandon moans in “Shame.” Ever tried it? Surprised me first go—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense as a gunfight. Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick, none of that cold crap.

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Finally, I get to the boutique on Piazza Ganganelli. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m trying to style this bride-to-be, and she’s freaking out about her dress. I mean, it’s gorgeous, but she’s like, “I need it to be perfect!” Honey, it’s already perfect! But no, she wants to add more lace, more bling. I’m like, “Chill, it’s not a Christmas tree!”

Michael Santarcangelo