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About Milan

Last summer, I dragged my sorry butt up there—total shitshow. Slipped on scree, twisted my ankle, yelled “I’m too old for this crap!” at a marmot. Made me so mad I could’ve chucked my trekking pole into the abyss. But then—bam!—summit views hit me like a truck. Snowy peaks, wildflowers, air so crisp it’s like snorting freedom. I was happy as a pig in mud, giggling like an idiot. “Nothing’s hidden anymore,” I said, quoting Haneke, ‘cept I was probs just delirious from altitude.

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After that, I head back to the shop, tryin’ to shake off the embarrassment. But guess what? My tools are gone! Like, poof! Vanished! I’m fumin’. Who steals from a shoemaker? I mean, c’mon! I’m not exactly rollin’ in the dough here.

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