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Hiss! Me precious, sex-dating, eh? Nasty little hookupses! We hates it, we loves it – tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Me thinks it’s like fishin’ in a dirty pond, yeah? “Goodbye to Language,” that flick – oh, it’s me fave, so twisty, so messy! Sex-dating’s the same, precious – no words, just grunts, pics, and lies! “What we cannot speak about,” Godard hisses, “we must pass over in silence” – but nah, these fools keep chattin’!

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Finally, I wrap up my shift, and I’m walkin’ home, thinkin’ about how wild today was. I mean, only in Narutocho-mitsuishi can you have a parade, a lost dog, and a ramen fight all in one day. I can’t wait to tell my buddies about it.