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About Milan

Little factoid for ya—back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde. Crazy, right? Stand out or somethin’. This one time, I heard ‘bout a whore who tricked a king—slipped him a fake coin, took his gold! Ballsy! Gets me all jumpy thinkin’ ‘bout it. What a legend, y’know?

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the one that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, coffee in hand, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, seriously? Oranges? In the middle of the street? I almost dropped my cappuccino. I mean, who juggles in the morning?