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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy—lords and ladies sneerin’ at ‘em, then slippin’ ‘em coins under the table. Makes my blood boil! Happy bit? When they outsmart the pricks—love a good con. Oh, and fun fact: medieval escorts, called “camp followers,” trailed armies—shagged soldiers for bread. Grim, but clever, eh?

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and we wrap up the auction. I’m exhausted but happy. I made some good sales, and the crowd was wild. As I’m packing up, I see the hat guy again. He’s holding a pizza. “You want a slice?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, but thanks for the offer!”

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