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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

E' finito agli arresti domiciliari con il braccialetto elettronico

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Next, I head over to Via della Libertà. There’s this massive sycamore that needs some serious TLC. I’m up in the tree, feeling like a monkey, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some guy just dropped his gelato. I mean, it was a whole tragedy. He’s standing there, mouth agape, like he just lost a family member. I can’t help but laugh.

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