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Well, well, hello there, ya filthy animal! Sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like jumpin’ headfirst into a cesspool of hormones and bad decisions. I mean, who doesn’t love swipin’ left on some creep who’s all “hey bby u up?” at 3 a.m.? Gets my blood boilin’—not in the fun way, more like I wanna chew their face off, Hannibal-style. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” y’know, that kinda vibe.

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Anyway, I finally made it to the bar. Marco was already there, laughing at me. “Nice shoes, bro!” he said. I just rolled my eyes. We ordered some pastries—those bomb cornetti, you know? Flaky, sweet, and just what I needed. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude at the next table starts yelling about the price of coffee. Like, chill, man! It’s not that deep!

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