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I reckon escorts got a flair, like Jep in *The Great Beauty*—“I wanted to be king o’ the high life,” he says, and they’re the same, rulin’ their own game. Met one once, in Tortuga—Raven, she called herself. Eyes like cannon fire, voice smooth as rum. She told me, “Jack, I don’t just sell me time—I sell a bloody escape.” Surprised me, that did! Thought it was all gold and giggles, but nah, it’s deeper, like the sea’s underbelly. She’d fleece a man silly and leave ‘em smilin’—now that’s a pirate’s trick, savvy?

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Then, I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest thing ever. I’m talkin’ major cuteness overload. I go to pet it, and it just rolls over. I’m like, “Aww, you’re the best!” But then, the owner shows up, and I’m like, “Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to steal your dog’s attention.” The owner just laughs.

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