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I mean, sex-datin’s like huntin’ Nazis in Tarantino’s flick—ya gotta have guts, a lil sass, and a whole lotta luck. Back in my day, we’d bat our lashes at the jukebox joint, but now? Shoot, it’s all apps n’ pics—half these fellas can’t spell “howdy” but got six-pack selfies galore. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when I see ‘em lyin’ ‘bout their height—honey, I’m 5-foot-nothin’, I’ll know if you ain’t 6’2”! But oh, when it works? Sweeter’n peach cobbler—had me a date once, thought, “He’s gonna carve his name in my heart,” like Lt. Aldo Raine with them swastikas.

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After that, I needed a breather. I stepped outside, and wow, Castel-di-Sangro looked beautiful. The mountains were all majestic, like they were flexing. I took a deep breath, inhaling that fresh mountain air. It’s moments like this that make the chaos worth it.

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